euu typedd*:
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(Wednesday, February 24, 2010-)
+9:59 PM]*
# [ Damnghiajkl ]-
Oh I think I should start blogging now.I have to keep track of my life.But my lazy-ass fingers just don't like typing long posts now.But I have to force them for I need these kind of memories to be preserved and remembered.
Yeah so,this year I practically made this "New Year Resolution" thing where I promised myself that I would set love aside and focus on my studies.(Pfft yeah right Qistina like you can do that) But the 'set love aside' part I was serious because last year I did a very stupid mistake and I will NOT repeat it again this year.So I was ready for this year and I have already disciplined myself for three months before school started,but then,oh goddamn...something unexpected came.Yeah HE came along.Not that I didn't welcome his presence,but it's just that,I've been..quite interested in this guy for quite awhile.I didn't LIKE him,I just admired him from afar and I only see him as someone who's highly respected and...great(?).Yeah,it really feels as though I'm just some normal citizen wanting to get to know a Prime Minister better.
I remembered that one time during the PMR Examination,it was after a paper,forgot what it was...anyway,we were all outside putting our stuff back into our bags and while I was talking to my friends my eyes suddenly got averted to a big guy nearby.I swear,I could've felt the world stopped when I looked at him.And while I was doing that I had this little conversation with myself in my head that went like this,
"Wouldn't it be great if I get the chance to become his friend and get to know him better...?"
"It is,but you wouldn't get the chance Qis.It's almost impossible. Just let those feelings go. You can't possibly meet him or even get to know him.So let it go."
"Yeah,I know the chances are like a million to one.But hey,can't hurt to just...WISH."
And that wish came true.Surprisingly.Unexpectedly.
I never would've thought that I'd have the guts to fall for the top student of my school.I'm not...intimidated by him at all.And for once,I didn't even need to act all fake around him.He made me smile even by just looking at him.He made me wanna be myself even more and I have never loved my smile so much.Yeah sounds like I'm really in love with him huh? Well yes,it's true I am falling for him.But the thing is,I'm not ready.And neither does he.I don't care if he says he is,I can tell a person who's ready to commit in a relationship when I see one.So yes,this year I have gotten a whole lot mature than before.I'd rather wait 10 years for true love than being in an on and off relationship over and over again.What's the point of being in a relationship,knowing that someday you guys will breakup?
So 3 months or forever? You pick.But I'd rather love a guy throughout my whole life.
And to do that,I have to take things slow.Very slow.I didn't wanna be his girlfriend because if I do then there's a very VERY high chance that we will separate.He is too special to let go,I'm willing to wait until the right time comes for us to be together.But for now,I'm just his friend...a friend that loves him.Yeah.
People don't understand,people WILL not understand if they find out about us.You see,I don't love him because I need him.I love him because he NEEDS it.He needs my love and care.Yeah he won't notice it now but when the time comes,he'll realize that.I'm not those typical girls you find everywhere and everyday.I'm serious when it comes to love and very sensitive about the issue.I still think that he doesn't understand how I truly feel about him.What I feel about him is very very huge. I can't explain it in words but it's something that I have never ever felt before in my life.
I love him,He likes me.Our feelings for each other is not the same.I know by just judging the way he talks to me and how he reacts.But I will wait till his feelings for me grows deeper and more meaningful.Even if it means waiting 10 years for his real love (: I will wait and wait.I will never stop waiting.
I'll remain loyal as long as it takes.But will he...?
the story ends like this;
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